Although I actually knew people in town last night, it was one of the duller experiences I have had, and that is saying something.
And one of the most awkward.
I almost made it through the door and all the way to the bar before N found me, and then he perched next to me with puppy dog eyes all night. I found it so hard to look at him, and hated myself for it. And still do.
He is such a wonderful guy, a proper gentleman. He talks, I listen. We have a lot of interests in common. He is everything I could want in a man. But there is just no spark there for me.
I don't want to hurt him, I really don't, but I am going to have to let him down somehow. Sooner rather than later. It wouldn't be fair on either of us to think there was something between us other than friendship.
I don't want to lose my friend, but I have to take that chance. I have to stop this now.
