Heartfelt

02 July 2008 - 9:57 p.m.

Since I last updated, I have been to 3 very different weddings.

One was family.

One was one of my oldest friends. They deserve to be together, they are such a special pair of people. B, you looked absolutely stunning, and P, so did you. It was also a good opportunity to get back in touch with people I haven't seen in years.

The middle wedding, however, was the one that I hold in my heart the closest. Skye and G had their handfasting, and it was magical. Bitch almost had my perfect wedding...

Lashing rain, gale force winds, the loss of people's tents... I wouldn't have changed anything, it just... was... Glow-sticks, bubbles, poi, picnics, photos, wings, farandols, and much, much more. The good vibes were great, everyone mingled (unlike one of the weddings), and I rediscovered the fact that I have legs.

Skye, you looked truely amazing. My best friend, even though you may not be the closest as the crow flies. I was going to tell you how dear you are before the wedding, but I was trying to hold my nerve (I could see it in you too!). Through the ceremony, I felt so privileged to have been chosen to be where I was. Truely beautiful, and from the heart.

I did well not to cry, I thought!

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On aanother note, the tears I saved are flowing as I write this.

I am going to have Ember put to sleep tomorrow.

The weight loss, tooth problems, and now the tumour... I can't let her suffer any more. I can't keep living for her. I want her to find peace again.

It is just so painful to come to terms with though. After weeks and weeks of fighting, it seems like it was all in vain, but I have no energy left any more. Watching her fade is just so draining. I just have to get through this, and believe that she'll be in a better place.

I just want our pains to stop.

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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