The light in the tunnel was just another train.

25 November 2008 - 9:39 p.m.

I hope that this is the last entry I have to write about loss this year.

The bank has 'lost' half of my life savings, which was not much but vital to my future existence. But that is not why I am here today.

Our Newfoundland, Quinn, passed away on Wednesday. He wanted to go to bed slightly earlier than usual, so we let him. In the morning, he was gone.

He has left another hole in my heart.

But life goes on for those death leaves behind, and so time will help cauterise the bleeding.

I am feeling so fragile, and yet numb to everyday life. As if something has been worn away, or isolated, or stretched so thin that it has become transparent.

Only a month until Christmas, and I really couldn't care about filling the coffers of others and spreading the joy right now.

Roll on the new year.

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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