Goodbye my Almost Lover,
goodbye My hopeless dreams.
I'm trying not to think about you.
Why can't you just let me be?
So long my Luckless Romance,
my back is turned on you.
Should've known you'd bring me heartache,
Almost Lover's Always Do..
Saw these lyrics and thought of H. Pretty much sums it up I guess.
With H having shut the door on Us, I am gradually moving on. A glimmer of hope lives on, getting brighter. A shining light, a beacon through the blanket of darkness that has enveloped me for a while.
I no longer jump each time the phone goes, or dread being online in case there's another misunderstanding. Colour is flooding back into the world, and - while I don't enjoy it as I should yet - my old and familiar haunts bring me some comfort, and purpose. I still cry. I still hurt. But the pain is duller.
I also have a not-so-secret admirer that came to light the day H broke it off. Seriously bad timing...
A is just the sweetest person, and a real free spirit. He has been through so much for one so young, and I have a lot of respect for him. We grew up together, although we never knew each other too well back then and he has since moved away.
Despite being such an amazingly lovely person, I am not yet ready to move on. I don't feel that way towards him right now, so I don't want to start something and hurt him. I cannot make promises I cannot guarantee to keep, however much I want to.
Perhaps in time...
