I have just spoken to Him for an hour and a half.
I have conceeded that I may give up my entire way of life to be with him. Shit.
It is like I am leading a double life right now. One that I promise the world, and one that carries on around me regardless.
I feel like the song thrush in the trees across the road. Not much to look at, but can sing a pretty tune to anyone willing to listen.
Am I being true to him? Can I fulfill his expectations of me? Am I being faithful to my heart, or is it just another flight of fancy?
I have doubts. Can you tell? How much do I really know about him? Are his intentions true? Should I trust so much? Where can I learn his language?!
He reckons we shoud rent a flat together. Think about marriage. And kids.
Kids! Ha! I would be the world's worst mother! Clueless and afraid in a land of unknown origin. And don't even get me STARTED on childbirth...
So, today, I am going to repeat the following mantra during every activity I carry out:
What the F^�% am I doing?? What the F^�% am I doing?? What the F^�% am I doing?? Oh shit, where do I go from here?
On the bright side of life, I have made one man very happy today...
