Just 38 days until I have to decide the direction my life will go.
I can:
a)
Accept it just will not work. Go back to my routine surrounded by family and friends who I care about and who care for me. The perpetual singleton, lost but able to be herself on the odd occasion.
b)
Carry on and have a fantastic holiday, and treat it as just that. End the relationship nobody knows about yet, before it is beyond my control. And then go back to the humdrum of life and pretend nothing ever happened.
c)
Have a seriously crap holiday and vow never to return, thus ending my relationship anyway and my life would then seem fabulous.
d)
Have too good a time, never return to England and forfeit my entire life. Job, family, the lot.
e)
Go over there, then plan things sensibly. Maybe half a year out there? Return to England, send out CVs, sort visas and permits, rehome Rosie to someone I trust, and somehow break it to my boss and my family (who I know will not accept it). Then de-crap the house, pack my things and say goodbye. After all, what is 6 months to start? Neither here nor there really. I can always come back. Never to what was, but there is still a future.
Now, which one - if any - will come to pass? I am dreading every scenario...
