For better, for worse

10 August 2010 - 3:40 p.m.

Today, he said that he loves me more than anyone before, that I am special, different. That he needs me. I would have asked him why out of curiosity (especially as it has not been a wildly long time), but circumstances put pay to that for now.

I realise that I do actually, truely care, and it is not just another passing phase. And I do believe him when he says the same. In the past, my situations have been unrealitic and idealistic at best. This time, the rose-tinted glasses are off, and I see the world clearer. This whole relationship becomes more realistic, and so perseverance seemingly more important. Maybe, for once, I should take a chance.

We spoke briefly about setting up home together. Where would I like to be? This is my home, but there is his. He will be wherever I am happy, but how would I feel to rip him away from his loved ones? Both of us are close to our families, so either way it would be tough.

I thought it was rather rude for him to answer his 'phone and ignore me for a while until I saw his expression change to one of worry, and brief tears being brushed away. His baby cousin was being rushed to hospital.

All I wanted to do was be there, to hold him. All I could give was someone to share with from a few thousand miles way... I felt so useless.

I have been thinking of them both, and am hoping the little one will be alright. I know how it is to lose a family member at a young age. I just wish there were something I could do, but to be honest there is nothing I CAN do. So I will hope for the child, and keep thinking of them both.

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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