Another friday 13th

13 August 2010 - 6:46 p.m.

Friday the 13th is supposed to be rather an unlucky day, and have had personal experience of this in the past.

Today, however, things have been rather wonderful so far.

I got up early after watching a glorious meteor shower.

I have lost half an eyebrow, but I think I can get away with it...

I have just thrown tea onto the new carpet. Good job it is beige..?

I wish I had bought that perfume in town. My sleeve smells fantastic.

I spoke to S again. Another two hours. We spent around half our time just staring, gooey-eyed, at each other. Lots of silence, but not uncomfortable.

When we did speak, it was the usual kind of thing. 24 days... Yeah baby.

I really, truely believe that he is smitten now though. The look in his eyes is different. Softer. He is not afraid of how he looks, and accepts me whatever too (although I don't think he realises just how much effort I make for him in the mornings! And I'm not telling him). His words have changed too, from what he thinks I want to hear, cliches and the odd misunderstanding, to really deep and meaningful things. It doesn't bother him that they are so slushy, un-manly and he would be mocked by his peers.

I do not doubt that I was just going to be a passing fling. Then again, I was never going to have a full-on holiday romance either. Guess it's a first for us both. We are both into the long-distance relationship, although I am not so naive as I started out. There are things he thinks I do not know, but I have not been blind. No matter. He is actually committed, which neither of us thought possible.

He still smokes, I discovered, so am going to help him stop. He says he wants to, but can't right now. Fair enough, that is his perogative. He'll soon learn though... There is no way I am kissing an ashtray. Sorry boy.

Every time I even think about him, I get that feeling stirring inside my stomach. I never intended for this, and was giving up hope that it would happen. (I think everyone was giving up hope, to be honest.)

I am facing several of my fears and travelling abroad on my own, staying with someone I may or may not decide to spend my life with, whilst fending for myself in a place I do not speak the language. I still dread telling my mother about the relationship more than anything.

I will tell her. There is never going to be a good time, so I will do it either when I am over there [give her time in the hopes her tirade will be quelled somewhat], or when I come back [tell dad in the car, to pass on to her, for the same reasons]. Not before then. Even though she is suspicious, too much time has passed for it to be reasonable. I don't expect her to be reasonable about any of it, which is why it is still secret to those closest to me. I do not feel so twisted in knots about it though right now. Too busy being loved-up to worry I guess.

As I sign off, torrents are falling from the heavens. The clouds are brown-yellow, a double rainbow hangs over the fields and the sunshine still skims the treetops. An inch of rain has fallen in the past minute. Yippee, no watering the garden for a while!

I have just been out in it - gloriously wet. I love weird weather. Makes the day more interesting.

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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