Why, after so long, when I actually find someone to change my life for, does everyone suddenly get interested? None of them know that I have Him, but it is like they have a sixth sense...
I have a biker at work, N. He is so sweet, and so lovely, but is so much older also. He writes cute notes inviting me out and telling me how pretty I am onto napkins.This one will never happen, and I hope he finds someone who deserves him.
Then there is K. Disappeared for two months to get his ex out of his system, before returning to declare his undying love for me. He is an interesting guy who sees parts of the person I am underneath, and I truely love that. He 'gets' me in a way that others don't, or don't care to. He tried to kiss me, and I wish to goodness I could have kissed him back, but I couldn't.
A sent me a text at 3am. He misses me. He still really likes me, and would love us to spend time together. And, like so many times in the past, I wish for that too. We grew up together, and he is the kindest, gentlest, most laid-back soul I have ever met. He has had the inner strength to beat cancer a number of times and all the nastiness associated with it all. He has some of the same interests as myself, and accepts me completely for who I am. I have the greatest respect for him, although I think he may be a little too free for me. Who knows though...
Instead of any of these, I am leaving my country to go to be with someone I do not know to the extent I would like, or who knows me in any depth. It is foolish, it is reckless, and it could be a beginning or an end.
I am unsure, untested, and slightly unwilling, but am going through with it anyway. I do not know why, or how, but it seems to be where life is taking me right now. So - for better or worse - I follow on...
