I have one full day of freedom left in this place.
I am not looking forward to the impending upheaval back to the UK. I have only just settled in here properly. I like it here. I love my boy.
I am leaving most of what I brought with me. Most of my clothes have gone in the bin. All of the house stuff I am leaving with Him.
The next few days are going to be damn hard. We have been together for three months solid, and now won�t see each other again for the same or longer.
He asked me to stay. It pained me so much to say that I couldn�t. The truth, but no easier because of that.
I think it is going to be harder for him than for me, although I am the more emotional one by far.
He has the same life but a component will be taken away. [He will be doing things for himself for a start... No more hot meals and clean washing! No more cuddles in bed either...]
I, on the other hand, will be losing him, but gaining my family, friends, my job, my home, my creature comforts. My life as I left it.
He says he has something to tell me, but needs it to be special for me, so will wait for my next visit. It will be a proposal. I already know, although he has not said it directly and will not tell me what it could be. It will be both a happy and sad occasion. And I will be so, so torn as to which life to follow. I feel like I have two - the one I am living at the time and the one I long to be in. If I could split myself in two or merge the two lives or flit between them as easily as others seem to be able to...
I hope I find the answers I need, and tread the path I need to follow.
