I feel sick

13 August 2013 - 9:03 p.m.

I feel like the glue holding me together is steadily being rubbed away. I feel like I could completely fall apart if I let myself, but am somehow managing to block it out so far.

Denial most likely.

I want to go back 4 years and tell D where to shove her holiday.

I want it to work. I don't want to be a failure.

Taking a stand may be on the cards, n matter how I feel about it. Tomorrow possibly.

I was all prepared to call him, but it is late there. I know he is up though, as he just made a mistake that has pissed me off and upset me greatly.

He will talk about how shit things are and how I don't support him as I won't get him a loan out(!), and yet I want to turn it around and I WILL bring up the mysterious photos that appeared online for only a few minutes. From his mobile. Of someone else. On a camel.. Waving. In skimpy shorts. I happened to be online just at that moment, and I won't let him tell me it's just one of his customers. Sorry love, it's on your fucking MOBILE PHONE!

Tomorrow may be the end.

It may not, but it should be.

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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