I feel like the glue holding me together is steadily being rubbed away. I feel like I could completely fall apart if I let myself, but am somehow managing to block it out so far.
Denial most likely.
I want to go back 4 years and tell D where to shove her holiday.
I want it to work. I don't want to be a failure.
Taking a stand may be on the cards, n matter how I feel about it. Tomorrow possibly.
I was all prepared to call him, but it is late there. I know he is up though, as he just made a mistake that has pissed me off and upset me greatly.
He will talk about how shit things are and how I don't support him as I won't get him a loan out(!), and yet I want to turn it around and I WILL bring up the mysterious photos that appeared online for only a few minutes. From his mobile. Of someone else. On a camel.. Waving. In skimpy shorts. I happened to be online just at that moment, and I won't let him tell me it's just one of his customers. Sorry love, it's on your fucking MOBILE PHONE!
Tomorrow may be the end.
It may not, but it should be.