Now in the post is a letter from me to my birth mother.
It is full of positives. It shows that I am living life, and enjoying it. I have had a great big list of things that I have done and am proud of since the last letter.
It also shows that I am not afraid to upset her by doing so. If she disapproves so much of something then tough. I am not making her mistakes. I am not going in unthinking. I am not rushing through things. I am researching it all, step by step, and growing. I feel like I am finding myself again, little by little. I will not cease to live just because she chooses to ignore me because of my life choices. Her silence (and the silence of her parents) seems childish, petty, and I am genuinely disappointed. I thought we had connected finally.
Apart from childbirth, she has played no part in my entire life, so she is entitled to no say in it and how I do things. I know she has always struggled. I know her life changed because of my accidental conception. I know she suffers with health problems.
It is now in her court. If she wants to know me, she can respond. If not, then I wasted all those years, but I will know where I stand.
