I know, it's only been half an hour since I last wrote in here, but I can not stop my thoughts.
The emotions are starting to bubble up from the deep, but I have to hide them as nobody here understands why. Why it is so important, so deeply embedded, such a fucking big part of me.
Only this morning, I was talking to the nurse about marriage and starting a family. I have been so totally broody for ages, and I keep being told that I have about 2 more years before my fertility drops off a cliff.
17.25 - Just got off the phone with my brother-in-law-to-be's British wife, who sent me a message to call urgently.
My man and his brother are in hospital after a fight broke out at the boat yard.
One man is unconscious.
One man is dead. I don't know who else was involved if anybody.
I am so scared. I wish I was closer to the wife, but I totally send her a hug over the hundreds of miles between us both. We both want to be out there, but are both losing it here at home.
I don't know what to do except ball my eyes out right now. I can't see a way through.
