Today's adventures...

08 December 2015 - 3:21 p.m.

Today, I managed to book my car in for a full MOT and service next week. I am dreading the outcome of this, as I haven't actually had it seen to by an actual garage since the crash... I know that even if it doesn't need anything serious, it definitely needs a new cam belt... I probably should have told them that, but it'll be what it'll be.

The main concern is not the funds, but the timing. Gray is coming down Saturday after I finish work to spend some time. I'm working Sunday but that doesn't seem to bother him. He's suggested that we go up to my best friend's party after all, and he's trying to get the Monday off work.

My mum thinks he's lovely, but is concerned that he is a little besotted (which is funny as he was particularly restrained) and I don't feel the same way quite yet. She came up earlier and cooed over the flower arrangement and the fact my tree is up. The tree took forever, but that's another story. I dug out Gray's present to me and requested that my mum have a peek so I at least have an idea of what to expect. I just hope to goodness it isn't lingerie, but don't think it is. Mum's reaction was that it is very me, unique, and not to go stupid in return. Fair enough!

I am still stuck for something to get, but both the Star Wars advent calender and the homemade etched-numbers-into-foil-wrapped-chocolate version have gone down extremely well.

I tell a lie - my main concern is that I have also managed to book a doctors appointment, which is pretty imminent but the first one I could get was the 5th January (POOR!!!). This is exactly how I wanted to see out this year, not begin the next, but it needs to be done.

I need to get some stuff out there; to say it out loud to someone who doesn't know me, won't judge me (hopefully), and who helps me move forwards. I need to put a line under another part of my past. It is a part that has haunted me for a very long time. A part that I've told nobody about. Literally no-one. I can't even find it in me to spew it across these pages, so I've no idea if I'll actually be able to find words on the day, let alone in the right order to get out of it what I need. A scary thing to have to face but I have to stop letting it hang over me.

On the plus side, I get to forget it all later at a family gathering. Parents, sisters and Middle Sis' man. Probably all the dogs as well. I'm looking forward to it.

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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