The hospital appointment was not as fucking terrible as I had in my head. Although not my finest or most dignified moment, it was what I needed to be doing. I get the results via text message in a week. How modern! Thank fuck it is as discreet as that too! Praying for the best...
The truth is out, and the support I've been offered is absolutely overwhelming! I've not gone for any of it, as I don't know what I'd get out of it, but it is just amazing to know it is there and that people are just so damn amazing about it all.
It doesn't feel so taboo to talk to strangers about it. It doesn't hurt so much. It doesn't control me.
I still need to talk. I will talk to the friends who know, and Gray when it comes to telling him. I'm not sure how much I will ever disclose, but the bulk of it will come out and I can put it behind me. Possibly not completely ever, but it won't have sway on the rest of my life.
I also have the best social life I've had in forever, thanks to Gray and his insistence that we do these things. Parties to performances, eating out to sleeping in, I've been such a hermit up to now! Social anxiety is being faced square on, and I don't have to involve the car. I may have to scale it back due to funds, but for now, I love it!
