Time in my own head

26 April 2018 - 12:52 p.m.

I survived another birthday, and it was both nice and frustrating.

It started with a full morning of housework and getting things how I like them - showered, shaved legs and clean bedclothes.

I was summoned to my parents for a sandwich and present, before being packed off home again.

Gray turned up around an hour before we were due to go out for dinner, so I was busy getting ready instead of paying him the attention he wanted.

We got back to my parents, and they took us up to the most interesting Thai restaurant, set in and old stone chapel. The woodwork was just stunning, and the place was a really clever and beautiful blend of the old and the modern. If they ever sell it, I want it - I could see myself living somewhere like that!

The food was absolutely delicious, cooked by a Thai lady and her team. The flavours really took me back to Asia.

The conversation was all about middle sis... It was her first day of maternity leave and also the day they picked up keys to their new house. I just sat there, brushing Gray off of me as I hate being fawned over when it is not appropriate. My family also hate it...

I know he is besotted. I know he feels the need to touch me constantly, but I am getting fed up... I cannot be anywhere or do anything without him there. I sat there feeling bad that I was pushing him away but at the same time mulling over the big question - do I stay and suffer all the things that get under my skin or pursue single life once again?

There are some very good benefits - we have similar interests. I love his family. He travels to see me. He knows how to support me and relieve some of the pain.

There are some huge downsides too... He is overweight, waddles when he walks, has little concept of personal hygiene, is not the slightest bit house proud and there is virtually no sex...

I am battling with the fact that I can't contemplate moving in with him, and yet we have a lot to look forward to also. He is my drive, and I am his life buoy... But...

Wait, go back a bit! - Onward ho!

E 's hugs


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