I saw some of my nieces today... It hurt.
It hurt to see how much I have missed.
It hurt to have them scared of me.
It hurt to know that I will never have children.
It made me feel all of the things associated with it. I am a biological failure. I am too old and too selfish. Expectations and instinct are hard to battle against, and the pangs of sadness welled up.
I love my nieces to bits but I have faded to a vague shadow in the background thanks to the year gone by.
Times will change. I have a lot of happy times to share with them yet. But still...
Time to try and push my feelings down once more.
