Today is a day for thinking.
Maybe it is time for The Talk.
I have to get the words together, so he doesn't twist it back to me. Make it my fault, and my problem.
His eyes look at the television more than they do me.
His hands caress the remote more than my body.
His lips touch a cigarette more than they touch mine.
Not a day has gone by that he has stayed with me. We have gone nowhere, done nothing, seen nothing.
He acts like a married man twice his age instead of a young man in the throws of passion.
He says that he doesn't want to move country. Why should he be one of those men that goes just to be with a girl? Why indeed. Why should I be one of those girls that goes just to be with a guy? I am starting to wonder.
It is not like I am not making an effort. FFS, I have put my whole life on hold to travel 2,000 miles and live in a country I don't know.
I am bored of it. Stuck in a rut. Going numb more and more each day. Everything I feel for him is ebbing away like the tide from the shore.
I think I will stick out the next 2 months in Turkey. I like it here. I just wish I could say the same for our relationship.
